The Purposes of Sex

Here's the post.

First, gotta say - I grew up in church, with a Christian family and the views I got from THAT matched up very well with reality. The views I got from TV, from the internet, from working with some very vulgar people - those views absolutely did not. I was not taught that men are the only ones with a sex drive, that sex was not going to be enjoyable for me, or any of that other junk. But, here's the thing - again, that's not a "Christian" teaching. Do Christians teach it? Yes. So do other women who've had bad experiences with sex, and people who don't want their daughters to sleep around. If you got married to a guy who wasn't intent on GIVING pleasure as well as getting it, you'd probably start to hate sex to. And when your daughter grew up, you'd warn her about how awful it can be, because you wouldn't know how great it can be.

So, if you were to base things on experience, it's now a draw and it has nothing to do with Christian teaching or non-Christian teaching. The Bible does not teach that women have no sex drive or that men are the only ones who enjoy sex. The Bible doesn't tell me that my duty is to physically satisfy my husband every time he wants it. Nowhere to be found. My duty and my joy is to meet his needs. I was told by a Christian woman that sex is great and, if done right, I would really like it. I was also told that it can be harder for women to enjoy it and that some women ended up with five kids and no orgasm, and I understood where some of that ridiculousness about sex came from. It DIDN'T come from the Bible - therefore, not a Christian teaching.

Threnody gets SO CLOSE to the real answer. It's like when you're watching Wheel of Fortune and the person you're cheering for is on the right track and guessing all the right letters, but you can tell they have no idea what the phrase (or whatever) is. She gives three choices: pleasure, reproduction, an aspect of marriage. I don't know why there was no "D: All of the above."

For one thing, God is an infinite being. If I, in my limited capacity, can do something like load the dishwasher with more than one purpose in mind, I'm quite sure that three reasons is not too much for God when designing a species.

So, pleasure. Is sex about pleasure? Absolutely. This is an incredibly interesting thing that I read about - so many women in previous generations did not know what an orgasm felt like. But they still liked sex. Why is that? Well, when you love someone, you love it when they're happy. So even if you're not getting high on endorphins, you still have a massively happy time giving them to your spouse. Therefore, no matter what your sexual status is (say, if you couldn't feel anything below your waist), it's still fun.

Reproduction: This is hilarious that people might think reproduction isn't a major part of sex, since for how many generations, sex was the ONLY way to reproduce. Is it ONLY about reproduction? Of course not. Some people can't reproduce, but they still get to enjoy sex. But some people don't like sex (look it up; men and women); what if they want to have kids? For them, sex would be ALL about reproduction. Even on birth control, people have babies. I worked with a guy who said he and his girlfriend used three kinds of birth control because they were scared that she'd get pregnant. Why? Because sex produces babies! When God said, "Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28, for example), He was telling (not in a mean way; it's a blessing) people to get married, have sex, and make babies! Have a family! Fill the earth with people! He made the Earth for people, and He made sex to make more people. He didn't have to. He could have made us all like He formed Adam and Eve. Could have made a bunch of dirt statues and given them life, or made all the women out of ribs. Sex is for reproduction.

An aspect of marriage: I'm not sure what exactly Threnody is talking about here, and she didn't really explain it. Yes, sex is an aspect of marriage. It's to be enjoyed ONLY within marriage. Sex is part of what makes marriage special. If people could physically only have sex if they were married and to the person they were married to, you wouldn't need any other "marriage incentives" and marriages would not fall apart nearly so easily. That's the way it's supposed to be. That's the way most people used to look at it, back when marriage was the norm, not living together; when unfaithfulness was a disgrace; when children were wanted, not an inconvenience. Sex is beautiful, an amazing thing, and part of it's purpose is to hold two people together. Once you've enjoyed that intimacy with the person you love, you want it again - not just for the physical pleasure, but for the sake of the intimacy. For being alone with them, for the opportunity to physically love and be physically loved.

So, really. Sex? There's a lot of reasons for it. There's no reason to limit it to just one.