Thursday, May 10, 2012

In the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord

I'm skipping this post. There's nothing really there to address. I did read the linked article; but honestly, conversions, apostates, whatever you want to call them - it happens all the time. It's only weird when it happens to someone you know.

Instead, this one will be our focus today.

When I first saw the title of the post and read the article, I was sitting there thinking, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Really??!? What is wrong with people?" I was upset because it seemed like, once again, Christians were doing something really dumb and really just. . . naive. People are watching us. More people than we often realize. People watch each other. I watch my neighbors and my neighbors watch me.

Then I listened to the clip. And I have to say, I wasn't nearly as upset afterwards. Now, to be VERY clear, I definitely - DEFINITELY - think that this pastor said things that he shouldn't have. I think he was naive, and I think he wasn't thinking clearly and according to other sources, he regrets it, and I've heard that he apologized. The man made a mistake.

However, none of this means that, despite his words, that he was actually advocating punching children. In fact, the audio clip seemed to make it extremely clear to me that he WASN'T. When he gets to that part, his voice drops, he hesitates and you can almost see him punching as if to hit a friend on the shoulder as people do all the time.

As for the "snapping" the wrist - wrists snap. Not that the bones of a wrist snap. In my honest opinion, which was against him when I started listening, I believe he was talking, not about breaking a wrist, but about snapping something into place. If your shoulder is out of joint, snapping it does not mean BREAKING your shoulder - it means putting it back in joint. He was talking about boys who are acting feminine, acting in a way that he believed was out of place. Therefore, the example of snapping the limp wrist was not about breaking it, but about putting it in place. Personally, this is where I believe he was coming from.

Another thing to keep in mind is that people speak differently when talking to people they know. I would say things in a simple, non-complicated way to my mom that I would have to be VERY careful about saying to other people. With others, I would have to give conditions and qualifications in order to be clear about what I mean. With my mom, I can just say it because I know that she knows me, and therefore, she'll know what I mean without needing all that extra stuff. That's a relationship, something that every pastor ought to have with their congregation.

I say this because most people would be very unhappy if someone overheard them say something to their spouse and then that person went and took it all out of context and said that they meant something that they didn't, even if that IS what they said. It's a danger, and it's a danger to everyone. To an extent we can only go with what is said; but to another extent, we shouldn't jump to conclusions about what people mean. Words are very versatile.

Now onto the rightness of chastisement. Well, first, God chastens us (Hebrews 12:6), so chastisement itself cannot be wrong. Second, we're commanded to bring our children up a certain way (Ephesians 6:4; notice the words "nurture" AND "admonition"). Third, Proverbs has some very practical and general principles on the subject, as well as the fact that most of the book is written from a father to a son - which is an example of itself.

There's also the fact that before all this about physical punishment being "bad," kids, in general, were better behaved. How many times have we heard saved and unsaved people alike say, "I'd have NEVER gotten away with that. My dad (or mom or grandparents) would have [insert some kind of physical punishment]." By our own testimony, we learned not to do things, not to speak certain ways, not to engage in certain things - why? Because our parents didn't let us. Because the pleasure was not greater than the penalty.

So, in closing, discipline is both commanded and it has been proven. Yes, people can go to far - people can go to far with everything. But the easy way, the simple way, the lazy way is an extreme; either to not discipline, or to discipline when it gets you emotionally riled. It's HARD being consistent. It's HARD when you're exhausted and you just don't want to fight anymore. It's HARD when you really just want everyone to get along. It's HARD when they're annoying you, but they're not doing anything wrong; because then you want to discipline them. It's hard. It's tiring. It's difficult to do it well.

However, it's the way God laid out for us. Therefore, it is better - for us and them. And it has already been proven by those who put the time and effort in to do it right.

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